Lollipops are candy, too

I'm very pleased to say that I have noticed a significant drop in the amount of in-library eating I'm seeing these days, with one exception: lollipops. Or suckers, whatever you want to call them - you know, candy on the end of a stick? I've heard a variety of entertaining, albeit specious, arguments that somehow lollipops should be exempt from the library ban, but they're not. "But it's in my mouth!" I hear that a lot. Except it isn't. It's in your hand, then it's on the floor, then it's dropped on the pages of a book, then it's stuck behind The American Civil War Almanac.

I'm not sure why a group of young people would want to walk around looking like Telly Savalas, drooly little white sticks poking out of the corners of their mouths, but evidently they do. I'm not going to judge you on your choice of cuisine, but I can make you consume it somewhere else, so keep those suckers outside!